Survivor Guilt

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I took my daughter to a funeral viewing for her friend’s father yesterday. He died of cancer. The girl is the same age as my own daughter. She was so gracious and sweet, well-spoken, mature beyond her years.

That said, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. My mother was diagnosed with cancer last year. She had surgery and radiation. She’s still having issues, but thus far is cancer-free.

I’m almost 25 years older than this child with both of my parents still living. How is that fair? Her dad passed away, and she’s just in middle school.

I’ve felt a tinge of this guilt for a while. Any time someone tells me that a family member or friend has passed away from cancer. Why do I get to be so lucky? Why can’t they be lucky, too?

Don’t get me wrong, I am incredibly grateful that my mother is still here. I just don’t understand why she gets to live and we get to have her here with us when some many other families don’t. Just grappling with those feelings.

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