Today would have been Dad’s 84th birthday. He’s not here to celebrate with us, so I thought today would be a good time to reflect on the last 3 months.
It’s been 6 weeks since Dad passed away.
We’re cleaning out his house to get it ready to sell. That’s hard. He’s lived there my entire life. It’s his house. The thought of someone else living there, and it not being Dad’s house, it kind of hard to grasp. It’s always been his.
It’s been a month since my Dad died.
Grief is weird. Sometimes, I can feel the tightness in my throat. This is usually when I feel like I’m going to start crying. Other times, it’s anger and rage, always directed at the people that don’t deserve it.
I feel like people are forgetting that he ever existed. The grave marker hasn’t been placed yet, which bothers me. No one knows who is buried there.
We’ve been struggling. It’s not every resting moment now. They’re random.
It’s been a while since I’ve gone for a run.
I needed to get out of the house and clear my head. I started with a simple 2-mile HIIT run with C25k. My body hated me, until it didn’t.
I managed to complete the walk/run. I know I probably pushed my body harder that I should, but I needed to.
I needed this time alone. I need to remember that I need to take time for myself, not just to grieve, but to focus on myself.
This time last week, I was sitting at my Dad’s bedside knowing that he was dying. I promised him that he wouldn’t be alone when he died.
I reminded him of the weekends when I was little. He had gotten me a Barbie bat. It was pink foam with a purple handle embossed with hearts and stars. He would pitch to me, I’d hit and run the bases. Then, I’d have to go get the ball so he could pitch again.
Grief is weird.
Larry Allen Swihart, 83, passed away on Monday, August 12, 2019 at Majestic Care, New Haven. Born in Fort Wayne he was the son of the late James and Irene (Westrick) Swihart. He served his country in the US Navy aboard the USS Yarnall and was employed with the Tokheim Corporation for over 20 years. He enjoyed fishing, hunting, and could often be found at Hall’s Restaurant in New Haven for his breakfast and black coffee.